Planning for our future

I had a long talk with my wife yesterday.. And one of the topic that was brought up by my wife is planning for the future.. Have I ever did any kind of planning in my life?!

Truth be told... I haven't...

It's an irony, because I hate the idea of a person's life being planned out and them not having the ability to pursue what they want... But on the other hand.. That's kinda like the life I've been leading for the past 28 years. 

While my parents don't exactly plan for me in what shall I do, what school should I go and what job should I apply for, I never really planned what I wanted to achieve in life. Perhaps, arguably, marriage was the only thing I've planned for (I had to at least plan for a surprise proposal). 

I'm so lost..

The only thing I can think about is to save money.. But that's also like something I've said many many times .. And until now.. It's still zero.. 

And... That's not really a PLAN!

I know that I'm largely talking to myself.. But if some lonely soul out there is reading this.. Perhaps you could share. With me how you plan for you and your family's future? Just leave me a comment below. 

Sigh~ I need to grow up.. Need to mature... Need to stop being so lazy!

Watch what you say

Gosh.. How many reminders does it take for me to remind myself not to say things without thinking through them first!

Today while on the train I told my wife "I think I'm gonna trade in my faulty iPhone4 for another phone". 

Wife: "why don't you repair it first to get a better trade in price?"

Me: "but it's an iPhone 4.. The repair fee is most probably gonna be the same as the trade in fee"

Wife: "have you check what is the repair fee?"

Me: "nope...."

Wife: "then u should do your homework first before making such sweeping statements!"

.......

Sometimes... If not... Most of the time.. I must watch what I say. While I meant it as a casual remark, diff. People will interpret it differently. And also... My credibility is long gone as I never really did any homework for anything in the past. 

I must learn to do more homework, plan my things better (finances and time) and learn to say the right things at the right time!

The real meaning of Fuck My Life.. FML..

The reason why I am starting to blog about the stupid things I've done is because too many too many negative incidents has happened to me.. 

I never heeded anyone's advice.. I was never able to save money.. I am a dreamer, kept thinking about the next big thing that could make me millions of dollars.. But that was all I did.. Sleep on it.. Dream... Dream more.. 

If there is a definition of what is a fucked up Husband.. It would just simply be me.. 

I always thought I could be someone whom my wife can depend upon.. But it turns out that she's the one whom I've been turning to everytime shit happened..

Lately I've done some self reflection and feel really really down.. My finances are a mess.. Savings were so bad that if something were to happen to me/us.. It's gonna be tough to fork out money for emergencies.. The worst part is.. I don't have a single clue on what I can do about it.. 

And just yesterday.. It had to happen.. Really epic timing.. I met into a car accident.. Thank the heavens that no one was injured as a result.. But ... $$.. 

Is this some sorta plan from some divine being who is resetting my life back to Zero?

I totally broke down when it happened.. I didn't know how I'm supposed to make the money appear.. I didn't know how to explain to my wife.. I didn't know how to manage the kind of disappointment and worry that my parents and my wife's parents will have... I am such a loser.. A "so-called" husband who is supposed to be the pillar of support for my family, and heck! I am gonna be 30yrs old soon! 

I accomplished NOTHING in my

Life!

.............

It took me 2 days to reconcile with what I've been doing to my life and my family.. Luckily for me, the sliver lining in this accident was that no one was injured and the other party whom my car collided into was also pretty nice people.. 

I need, I must, pull up my socks and settle this issue without getting any of my loved ones involved! And after that I promise (I know I've said this 8888 times already) I will put in 100% effort to be a better husband, a matured husband & a husband that my wife don't have to worry about. 

I am not sure if my simply blog will be read or picked up by search engines such as Google. But if fate brings you to read my blog, and if you are in the same predicament as me, let's work together to get better. Our current state is perhaps as bad as it can get, how much more worse can it be? 

Hopefully as the days go by, the subsequent posts in this blog would be about me doing things that made my wife proud =) and that blogging can help me to release stress (I don't have a lot of people to talk to) and to "Repent, Repair and Prevent" ..

*peace^^*